I just wanted to have a place to collect things. Projects that I’m working on. Pictures, poems, videos, songs…..So that you could see….. Partially because if it goes unseen, unread, unheard; if there is no witness sometimes it can disappear and then it is as if it never happened. And these days if feels like a lot is happening, and I would like to keep it. Partially it’s because I miss you, and I’m not good at returning calls. I get so lost in my own thoughts I forget to reach out let alone reach back. And I really do miss you. I miss staying up with you, sitting by fires strumming ukulele’s and guitars, sitting around your kitchen table sipping wine, or wandering around markets, parks, shows, beaches, woods. I miss the whiskey breath battle cries, the ache from dancing all night, I miss afternoons stretched long, i miss sneak attack dusks and sunrises, burnt sage, and neck rubs…. as well as those internal landscapes. The quiet secret places I spend so much time, so often alone. I love wandering these places with you. All that was, was a little too much and I had to get away. So for now I live by the ocean. I should have always lived by the ocean. A part of me always did, a part of me always will. If you want to, you could imagine me there, or out at sea. Thinking of you often. Sighing at the sunsets, hypnotized by the waves. Missing the contact and loving the spaciousness, the deep breaths in the heart of a cloud of white noise. I hope you don’t forget me, because eventually I would like to come home. Someday I would like this to be in person, I would like to sit by and sing to you. But for now this will have to do.
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